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It’s that time again to list down something. Subject: WHAT’S UP 2009
For 2009
Plans for 2009
What I need for myself to achieve 2009
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Someone SMSed me this message, really a surprise since this person only talks about is money.
Each day, our goal is to touch one’s heart,
encourage one’s mind and inspire one soul
I hate getting sick, especially if the timing is bad. But before that, here’s what happened
Now I have freaking deadline comin up and I cant even move to make noodles!? WTF?!
SO I started cleaning/reformatting my laptop just because I don’t want to be bored in the long weekend…and also, there’s a Dynasty Warrior 6 and Last Remnant sitting in the table waiting for me to do drastic measures on my laptop (like, let’s say 7 hours of backup-reformat-reinstall-bootcamp-install-backup)
After 6 hours, almost 90% of the much needed tasks are almost done when I realized I have secret folders that I missed. Then I thought what are inside those folders
Shortstories…
Identification files…
Porn…
…
PS: The porn are the videos of the recently scandalized celebrity…passed down people, passed down
Break muna sa depresyon, sabagay unti unti naman lumuliwanag (at baka umulan ulit pero what the hell muna)
Scene: J and me talking
Closa: Question, sinong gusto mo makausap ngayon kapalit ko? Kahit sino as in
J: …uhm
(J nagiisip ng malalim)
J: Si Jesus Christ.
Closa: …sana naman yung ka friendster or facebook mo naman.
When I came back in the house today, I put down my stuff and jumped to the pool.
Swam for 5 laps, stopped then I was catching my breath. I remembered I asked myself what is the point of my every effort?
I wasn’t giving myself a hard time again by going through my mistakes. I was thinking of what needs to be done and what I can do at that moment. I need some redirection to my life, would like to go back on loving things.
Whenever I’m taking a break outside the game field I always look at the sky, or at the farthest thing I could see. And think for a minute or two what to do next. Think about the next game, then the few days coming. Contemplating what is happening to my life. In the end there a lot of things going through my mind I became disorganized what to say to the people or tend not to understand people.
I never ask for God anything
Ok maybe some shallow stuff or a joke but when it comes to serious problems I never asked Him.
Not once. Because I do believe that that would be too unfair for him.
Because I never visit the church, I never pray. I may give offerings but that was after an argument since I don’t have something for the cab.
Because I have a pride that was huge no one can compete with it
But tonight my pride and ego was broken and I cried in front of someone that I would think is the last person that would see me crying. That I cried inside the bathroom. I cried while I was drinking some shitty hard drink. I cried while I was eating chicken. I even cried in a public place. I may even cry while I was sleeping. bUt I never thought of asking for God to work this out. Because I put myself in this shit and it’s pissing me off.. And I will work my way around this
I swear or you will see me knees bended asking for God to kill me this instant and drop me off to hell where I belong.
TGIF 1008 042609
That you’re with me or against me~
and it feels like
that your promises are all mine
and it feels like
that to push me is to shove me
and it feels like
that the only way is the wrong way
I just got my manual proxy for my provider since my whole site has been blocked for a month now…
And now I can access I don’t know what to fix here.
Might as well update you guys on stuff in my end.
The old pub gang reunited for some picnic time in LM Ecopark, it was pretty fun but the sun wasn’t so friendly with us lowly beings. Hot hot hot. I did the wallclimbing there and one thing I could say that it such a disappointment not to reach the top, I kept falling but kept coming back, determined to finish, however I’m so tired and my legs and arms getting numb, I half heartedly told the instructor that I have enough. And so there I was looking at that certain part of the wallclimb that I cannot get a grip of it. The others managed to get it though
The next day was airsoft training and I must say it was preett-y serious, everyone was giving everything they’ve I got to go through obstacles, formations and missions left and right that we get agitated whenever we lose. We went through 5 15 minutes scenarios without taking breaks. I even got small scars in my stomach and body and a few noticeable scratches in my cheeks.
My left leg was banged up from too much usage, a painful reminder that it doesn’t heal up in a matter of hours…it takes days. What a letdown since I’ve been training for a military simulation this may that I have to give up on that since it’s really painful whenever I bend or push it too much.
Still it was a good training.
But then lot of stuff happened in a matter of two days that my beautiful (and also painful) weekend just seemed so…blah. A senior designer left us due to cost cutting and now it’s just me and my boss will be handling all the creative shit. At first it was me, since I am the latest to be hired and the very reason I was hired was due to a heavy workload coming that didn’t materialize after a few months. I can’t believe what happened that I was shocked and confused at the same time, I wasn’t happy at all. When the boss told me about this since friday I was gearing myself to leave and told him if he chooses me, ‘If it happens, it happens’. But after that announcement who’s who, I couldn’t believe what was happening. I don’t know what to do next. Even the boss…while he was revealing it to me, he too couldn’t seem to believe it too. We would stop talking at that time, pause for a moment to at least breathe…
I wanted to cry due to such a loss. I kept thinking it should be me, it should be me. But I guess I should follow what I said “If it happens, it happens”.
By next week I would be working on the projects he left, additional to mine. I hope I could keep up to my boss expectations…I’m still out of balance so let’s hope for the best
…Gawd, I love that I can blog at home again
There has been a lot of serious talks in the office lately…pretty serious stuff if you ask me, but I was looking at the sky and enjoying the wind. When my boss finished what he had to say, I scratched my head and said “If it happens, it happens.”
Maybe it’s time for me to take a break, I’ve been meaning to work on something else besides this or maybe I need to go somewhere, I already learned a lot and it was a blast.
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